Okay, so its promise to be a vibrator turned out to be a stimulation #fail, however, the iPhone is still turning out to be a grrl’s best friend.
Yeah, it will play your favorite tunes, keep a complete list of your peeps, wake you up in the morning, and let you Google yourself silly. But it will also let you carry Rachel Maddow in your pocket, and let you mix a mojito like mix-master Dr. Maddow herself. Depending on your fashion proclivities, it can teach you seven different ways to tie a necktie or 12 different ways to wrap up a DKNY Cozy. It will monitor your workouts, count your calories, and act as your remote when you’re in a Snuggie on the couch.
It will even send you an email when Aunt Flo is coming to visit.
Yep, I’m talking about that “Aunt Flo”.
I think the application made by WinkPass Creations called iPeriod (free “lite” version and the full $1.99 version on iTunes) is the one thing that seals the deal, making my iPhone my new BFF.
Here’s the thing – I’m past my childbearing years and well into my teen-wrangling years. I sleep with women. My chances of getting pregnant are about the same as winning the California Lottery, something I would much prefer. I don’t care about my BBT (basal body temperature) or my days of peak fertility. But with this whole peri-menopausal thing, I’ve found my cycle becoming less regular, and the intensity of it a little unpredictable. My moods have peaks and valleys. I suppose at certain times of the month, people close to me might describe me as snappish (or mercenary, depending on who you ask).
This little iPhone app gives me the ability to track my moods, something that is invaluable for anyone, not just a menstruating woman. There are more than 40 to choose from, including my favorite version of the Seven Dwarves – Frisky, Dizzy, Sexy, Cranky, Angry, Sad, and Hopeful. The mood calendar would be a boon for anyone taking new supplements, medications, changing diet, or trying a new exercise routine.
In combination with the information about my menstrual cycle, it gives me a way of predicting where I might stumble and fall into a progesterone-laden pit.
Parent-teacher conference? A quick look at the calendar before scheduling will make it go more smoothly and will keep me from trying to cook and eat my child after I hear he has been storing all of his history assignments in the bottom of his locker rather than turning them in.
First date with a hot woman? Better not schedule it when I’m ovulating or I’ll toss that “no sex on the first date” rule right out the window.
But if I do, there’s a red heart icon I can add to the calendar reminding me that I had sex. A little something to cheer me up the next time I think I haven’t had sex in For. Ev. Er.
There are customizable icons that let you track other activities (exercise, for example), or maybe days when you work, or for people on shift work, whether you were sleeping days and working nights, something that can play havoc with a menstrual cycle.
But, I have to say, my very favorite feature in the app is the little section that lets me annotate and journal anything I want on any day. It’s just like the diary I had as a kid only a little more secure. The application is lockable and you can opt to back up all your data online.
Jiz Lee is an alt porn star/model/web geek recently named one of the 10 Sexiest Geeks in the world. She wrote a blog post about keeping lists of sexual goals and activities in response to the story of a young woman shamed on FaceBook when her list was made public without permission. Jiz says she uses the period app on her iPhone to track her own sexual encounters.
“There are a lot of good reasons to keep lists of partners and sexual encounters. Keeping notes of what lovers like/dislike can be important in sex work. Some people who keep clients record boundaries, fantasies, and even sadistic ideas they get…”
Any sexually active woman can take a page from Jiz’s book, and use the journal to record her sexual activities. This would be especially helpful for people with multiple partners, women sleeping with men, having unsafe or unprotected sex, and for people branching out into new sexual activities. A person following a path into BDSM might want to be able to track their moods in the days following heavy play, for example. A woman with a history of yeast infections may want to track the effects of a new lube.
You can tell iPeriod anything you want – even your weight – and it won’t be shocked. It’ll just take that information and keep it to itself, and then it will send you an email reminding you that your period is due.
Sorry, Babs, but this is my new best friend.